grace

For Mary

For Mary

I carried these words with me through the next years as I struggled to wrestle my grief and disillusionment and pain and joy and hope to the ground and redeem something new and beautiful with it all.  I carried them in my heart and revisited them when I needed the reminder that this renewal may look like telephone poles but I don’t have to care.  That for some things, for this thing, there was no wrong season.  And like Mary Oliver, it was what I dreamed of for me. 

Rejection!

Rejection!

But I am careful about what I’m wishing for.  I’m wishing to be brave and bold.  I’m wishing to follow through on long held dreams.  I’m wishing to show up and do the work for the work’s sake.  I’m wishing to put myself out there a bit more, to dare and chance and dream.  And so if all I end up with is an email file filled with receipts that I tried and took a risk I will still have gotten what I wished for.